Ridicules!

This is ridicules.

It’s been months!

I’ve had this hectic schedule since I came back from Istanbul, meaning my life’s been this chaotic nonsense since October!!! This is…sad. I have not had a decent night out since forever, I haven’t been able to spend quality time with either my family or my friends, meals are a joke, shopping is out of the question, sleep is like an expensive treat and some of the library staff think I’m their coworker. Something is very wrong.

It snowed a few days ago…or was it weeks – I can’t be sure; I’ve lost all concept of time and space! Well, whatever, it snowed…and it was so pretty and inviting and I wanted nothing more than to just get dressed and go out and about and have snow fights with my friends and drink hot chocolate while chatting and – but I had work to do.

“Is it worth it?!”, that is the question if you ask me. I feel like shit. I do. I really do. I am not a person fit to live this kind of a lonely, unhappy, isolated and joy free “modern -western influenced life style”…Seriously; this is not what I was put on this earth for! It can’t be…

I can’t find time to draw. I don’t have time to write! I’ll surely die if this goes on any longer, I can’t live like this. It’s suffocating me. I feel like I’m drowning in all this…stuff, which I don’t even know where I found from.

It has to end. Very soon.